Not Today

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Tomorrow I will count all my blessings, not the few dollars I have in the bank.

Tomorrow I will try a new recipe and beam as my family showers me with praise.  I’m a natural gourmet chef in the kitchen!  I  just threw this together…

But not today.

Today I can’t get up off my knees.

Today my head is in my hands.

Today I’m arrogant enough to believe that I am the only one You have forgotten.

Yesterday I gave my husband a big ole wet sloppy kiss and made him feel like a teenager, if you know what I mean…

But not today.

Yesterday I had a camp out in the middle of the living room floor with my best girl.  We ate s’mores and sang every song to Cats…out of tune and off key.  We laughed at our silliness.  Even the dog seemed to enjoy it!

But not today.

Yesterday I knew that she knew that I got up a half hour early every day to tell the sun to shine.  I put the stars in the sky and hung the moon.

But not today.

Today the darkness came.  Don’t know how it came, but when it comes, it comes.

Tomorrow I will smile to my friends and coworkers and joke and make small talk….she wore what?!  He said that?!  I’ll be a hit at work with my wit and charm.

Tomorrow I’ll hold my head up and know the darkness didn’t matter. I won’t know how it went away.

But not today.

Tomorrow I will get up off my knees.

But not today.

©Mary Flanagan Taylor,  June 30,2010

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3 responses »

  1. Beth, if you really live then you’ll experience depression at one time or another. Sadness affects all of us–there’s just very few who will actually admit it. Most view sadness or situational depression as a weakness or something to be ashamed of and hide. Not me. I experience my emotions–ALL of them–to the fullest.

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